Ever dropped your kid off somewhere and prayed, “Lord, please don’t let them say anything embarrassing?” I know little kids say the darndest things because here’s some real-life zingers they’ve said in the Sunday School classrooms at church:
- “My sister’s a real goody two shoes.”
- “My favorite drink is beer.”
- “Anyone who voted for X is stupid.”
- And–with an air of superiority: “In our family we don’t go to school. We homeschool.”
Yikes. That last one. Family schooling alternatives can be a divisive topic, am I right?
Public, Private, or Homeschool?
When my kids were approaching school-age I was sure of only one thing:
Whatever I do, I’m going to screw them up for life.
No, really. I was afraid that no matter what option we picked, it was probably going to be the wrong one. There’s so much pressure from inside the church and outside the church, from parents, friends, neighbors, maybe even from your own kids. I get it! I was certain there was a right way and I missed it.
FYI, our family started with homeschooling then moved to public school. But I understand the draw of all three of the above options. If you want to read more about our story, read Our School Journey here.
Maybe your family has already made a schooling decision and you’re totally sure it’s the right path for you and your kids. Maybe you’re just doing what your parents did. Maybe you simply don’t have any other options. Or maybe you are so overwhelmed at the weight of this decision that you feel paralyzed and need advice!
Whichever describes you, I know we all want to be effective parents who make the best decisions for our kids. To that end, I want to give you three thoughts relating to schooling alternatives.
Firstly, it’s important to remember that you are not marrying your school choice. This is not for life. It is not even necessarily for the next 12-13 years. You could pursue different options for different kids! And you can change your mind next year. Or the next year. Or next month. As monumental as it may feel, nothing is being carved in stone.
Secondly, it’s also really important to uncover the prime mover in your decision. This may take some quiet reflection or agonizing, honest soul searching. But if you prayerfully look deep down at the underlying motives and discover that there’s something fearful, prideful, controlling, lazy or prejudiced in the driver’s seat, it is time to pull over and let Jesus take the wheel, as Carrie would say.
Finally, communicate to your kids that while you may be sure this is the best decision for your family, that doesn’t mean it’s best for all families. The reason the above classroom comment stings is because it was condescending—and judgey is not lovey. Help them understand that the various options have pros and cons. If God has called you to a specific style of schooling, then be confident yet humble. If school looks the way it does for you out of necessity, not choice, then that’s a legitimate and truthful perspective to give your kids too. But it’s not really okay to teach them that “our way is best” and “they just don’t know any better.”
These days I am sure of one thing: God does not want us divided over educational paths! Let’s intentionally foster a culture of sincere curiosity and grace toward each other. If you want to chat more about the issue of school options, or if you need help navigating this decision, I’d be happy to chat.
I hope that the end of this school year has tons of happy memories for your family. The lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer are right around the corner and they will fill up fast. Sign up now for an NCBC Kids Summer Camp! You might even want to volunteer as a whole family!
God bless you as you navigate so many parenting decisions!