I clearly remember the summer before our oldest child Jake turned five. There was a bond issue on the ballot that would provide additional monies to schools. Whether I was for the bond issue or against it is irrelevant, the yard signs irritated me. “VOTE YES FOR KIDS.”
The obvious implication being if you are so cold or callous to have a different opinion and you vote NO on this particular tax increase it is because you are a monster who clearly hates children, and probably puppies, ice cream, and your mama.
I remember this clearly because it was a small but memorable factor in my decision to homeschool Jake. I just didn’t want to be locked into a predetermined schedule or a system like this that felt so blatantly manipulative and myopic to me.
Homeschooling wasn’t nearly as common in 2002 as it is now, but it wasn’t a foreign concept to our family. An older sister successfully homeschooled all three of her kids through high school and I had a broad network of other homeschool moms at church and in the community. Also, when Jake was only four years old he was already reading, so the thought of him sitting through Jolly Phonics for an entire year was painful. We decided to homeschool.
It was fun. It was exciting to get piles of curriculum in the mail. It was also way more expensive than I expected. And it was overwhelming to have to plan an entire year of school. The stakes felt really high. But still I felt confident that this could work for our family. And it did.
A couple years passed and Marissa joined the mix. She was more of an “independent spirit,” let’s say. Sometimes she liked holding her abilities close to her chest, especially reading.
One day I asked her to sound out the letters C-A-T. “What does that say?” I asked. She paused, and replied, “Meow.”
Jake hated the pressure of timed math tests. But he loved being all done with schoolwork by noon and having the rest of the day to play. Marissa loved to read laying sideways on the stairs. We all loved those gorgeous weather weekdays that were just right for going on a picnic at the park. Being free to do that spontaneously and not having to fit those outings around a school day is one of my favorite things about that season of life.
There were lots of hard days too. February is the worst. There’s not a legitimate holiday break in sight, dark and frigid days brought cabin fever and the feeling of schoolwork drudgery would seem unbearable. But eventually spring would come and we’d be able to spend a sunny 50 degree day outside on a bike ride or trip to a museum and it would all feel worth it again.
Then, our twins turned five and starting doing some kindergarten school work with us. That winter, they both started talking about the next year when they would go to school.
“We don’t go to school, sweeties. We homeschool.”
Newsflash, we did not run our home as a democracy. The kids did not control major family decisions. The audacity of these little girls to keep pushing back on this was startling. They weren’t being rude or demanding. They just kept talking about “going to school” as a certainty. I was amused and confused.
Then one day Emily said something that blew my mind and rocked my world.
“Mommy, if I don’t go to school, who will I tell about Jesus?”
Emily, age 5
Just like that, my mind was changed. I mean it took a while for the heart and the brain and the fears and the worries and the sadness and the loss of control and the logistics to all sort themselves out. But that was truly the moment that pushed the first domino and set about the transition for our family from homeschool to public school.
Through this process I also uncovered what some of my prime motivations for homeschooling had been. I list several of the poor ones in this post here: Decisions, decisions–school edition.
We started Jake & Marissa in public school after spring break that year as sort of a trial period. Jake would finish 4th grade and Marissa would finish 2nd grade there. If we hated it–it was just for a couple of months. But if we could see this working out for our family, we’d have more confidence enrolling all four kids in the fall.
We attended Kindergarten Round-Up that spring as well. And during an informational Powerpoint presentation in the dark gym, someone leaned forward (I’m convinced to this day it was an angel because I’d never seen her before or since) and said, “You know there’s lots of Christian teachers at this school. ” It seems silly, but I wanted to know my “babies” would be loved by other people who love Jesus. I needed to know that not everything I valued would be attacked by some impersonal, progressive school system.
And do you know what? It turned out just fine. The kids figured it out. Mom and Dad figured it out. They made friends and lost friends. They learned things at school that didn’t mesh with our values at home and we were able to talk about it. They had teachers who supported their faith and they had teachers who challenged it. They learned to stand up for what they believe in. They learned to have understanding and compassion for people they would not have encountered otherwise.
I believe that in the end our kids ended up kinder, stronger, smarter, wiser, braver, and more like Jesus because they went to public school than they would have if I’d kept them home all those years. And so did their mom.
These four kids went on to graduate public school with honors and receive scholarships to John Brown University. Jake got his B.S. in May 2019 and is now a software engineer. Marissa will graduate with a double major of Spanish and Family & Human Services next month. And Elizabeth and Emily are freshmen pursuing majors in business.
In spite of all the anxiety and worries I had along this schooling journey, we made it through. They all still love and follow Jesus. What greater joy is there than that?
Obviously, this is just our story. I understand the appeal of all the options available to families and respect your choice to lead your family in the way you see fit.
But if you are afraid of moving from homeschooling to public schooling, maybe our story will be of some encouragement to you. Or you may enjoy reading this book, Going Public–Your Child Can Thrive in Public School, for more insight on how your local school district might become your own personal mission field.
Growing in wisdom,
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