I’ll never forget when one of my daughters thanked me for not tracking her every move while in college. I asked her to explain what she meant. She had friends whose mothers still closely monitored them on Find My. She told me, “Because their moms are checking their location all the time, when they go to the bar they leave their phones in the dorm so they aren’t feeling spied on.”
Throughout the month of September we are thinking about attributes of God: ones that are His alone, and ones he graciously shares with his people. All humanity has a sin tendency to crave for ourselves the attributes that belong to God alone such as His omniscience.
God alone is all-knowing. He knows everything about everything. He knows all science, history, philosophy. He knows your DNA and what lies past the farthest galaxy humans can see. He knows the names of your great great grandchildren, their birth dates and the color of their eyes. He knows everything already. He doesn’t learn new information, ever.
Part of authentic worship is our contentment being the human and letting God be God. God is all-knowing. We are not. God shares with us a huge capacity for knowledge. We can be curious about and learn all kinds of things! But we don’t get to know all things. For example, the private details of another person’s life are theirs to know. If we crave omniscience into another person’s business, the bible has a word for that: meddling (1 Peter 4:15).
“Meddling can be tricky to catch because it often masquerades as loving concern. As a parent, I have felt the desire to meddle grow as my children have grown. The closer they move to adulthood the less I can (and should) be involved in their private conversations and affairs” (Jen Wilkin. None Like Him. page 115).
God asks us to trust Him with omniscience and instead to pray for wisdom. “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him” (James 1:5). The Bible gives wisdom about conflict and forgiveness, rejoicing and grieving. work and finances, friendship and sex.
In loving concern, parents want to know where their kids are, who they are with, and what they are doing. But for how long? When is it wise to start letting go of wanting to know everything about everything in the lives of our kids?
Or to put it this way: when do they, as people, become entitled to privacy? When does parental “keeping tabs” become “meddling” to such a degree that our adult kids start leaving their phones home? What is wise? And what is our unhealthy desire to be omniscient?
“…it has been a challenge to move from a place of knowing their every move and every word to an age-appropriate place of not knowing.” (Jen Wilkin. None Like Him. page 115).
We aren’t meant to be perpetual monitors of our children’s lives. As they grow in trustworthiness, maturity and independence, we need to do the hard work of trusting them and entrusting them to God.
Oh that we’d pray for this wisdom!
“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom.” Because of this, you can trust God even if your daughter isn’t home for curfew, if your son didn’t answer your text, or if they’re on a date with someone new. You don’t need to know everything. Because He does. (Proverbs 9:10).
Ultimately, following your child’s location isn’t nearly as important as following the One who knows everything and cares about everything and who works everything according to His perfect plan.
Is this easy for a mom or dad’s heart? No way. But it’s wise.
“God is greater than our hearts, and He knows everything.” (1 John 3:20).