Let’s make a list of the top five characteristics of an authentic Christian. What do people who truly follow Jesus look like? Seriously, I’ll wait while you get a pen. 🙂
My list would be: Worshipful, Loving, Joyful, Humble, and Forgiving.
Or tomorrow I may come up with a different list: Faithful, Compassionate, Honest, Wise, Countercultural.
It’s not hard to list what a Christian is supposed to look like. But do you know what is hard?
Looking like that.
There’s rich theology about the spiritual process of sanctification, or becoming like Jesus. It’s a miracle the many ways the indwelling Spirit of God produces fruit in our lives so we live like Christ.
Yet there’s one simple reason why I don’t.
Sometimes I don’t want to.
It’s hard to be like Christ and I simply don’t want to do hard things. I often prefer to do easy things. Lazy, Indulgent, Foolish, Selfish, Ugly things.
Don’t you?
I know there are people who do love their inspiring, healthy routines. They love to get up before dawn and spend time in God’s word. They love to go to the gym or run ten miles. They love to roast chickpeas for a snack! Some people love that kind of stuff.
But do we love to do the really hard things? Do we love to respond like Jesus when the people in our houses are so infuriating? Do we love to trust the heart of a spouse that they didn’t try to be thoughtless, forgetful, insensitive or annoying? Do we love to go first with reconciliation? Do we love to overlook offenses?
I don’t love doing those things. I’d naturally prefer resentment, eye-rolling, complaining, tapping my toes or holding a grudge. Maybe some audible sighing, sarcasm and keeping score.
But becoming like Jesus means we have to do the spiritually hard things. And if there is one place worth doing the hard work to look more like Jesus, it’s at home with the people we cherish the most.
Which is where it’s often the most difficult.
I read a thought-provoking quote about marriage this week. “Draw a circle around yourself and fix everyone within the circle.”
Okay, ouch.
Drawing a circle around yourself is simply another way of saying: you are responsible for you.
It’s another way to describe practicing and becoming your list from the start of this conversation: Kind, Helpful, Longsuffering. Trustworthy. Gentle. Practicing those things in your parenting. Becoming those things in your marriage.
A mentor of mine says, “All you can control are your actions and your reactions.” This means I’m not responsible for everyone else’s behaviors and feelings. But I am responsible for mine. And that’s a lot.
And it’s hard. So hard. It’s hard to do hard things! But for the sake of our own souls, and the souls of our kids, and the glory of God, we must.
And just like getting up early, or going to the gym, or eating healthy, it gets easier. By God’s grace, eventually it becomes a way of life that we do prefer. That’s the miracle work of the Spirit. When we submit, He gives us both the will and the way to be like Jesus.
Colossians chapter 3 is a master class on this topic but I’ll just pick out a couple verses to conclude:
“But now, put away all the following: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and filthy language from your mouth.” (Colossians 3:8, CSB).
“You are God’s chosen people. You are holy and dearly loved. So put on tender mercy and kindness as if they were your clothes. Don’t be proud. Be gentle and patient. Put up with one another. Forgive one another if you are holding something against someone. Forgive, just as the Lord forgave you. And over all these good things put on love. Love holds them all together perfectly as if they were one.” (Colossians 3:12-14, NIRV).
Now there’s a couple lists worth writing down.